indoxyl:

i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job 

taemanliness:

zcatz:

zcatz:

Fun fact, I have a green foil star balloon that I was given at the zoo and it’s still fully inflated without ever being refilled.

Funner fact? I was two years old when I got it, making it a 16 year old balloon.

I may be carrying a balloon that is older than a fair few of my followers right now.

how

ayeleesh:

when you see your reflection on your laptop screen and you just look

meladoodle:

grizzlygrandma:

meladoodle:

zooey deschanel came on tv today and my dad said “whoops better change de schanel”

So many fucking Lols comin out my dick right nao

you should probably get that checked out

rubywhiterabbit:

calderonbeta:

feralcastiel:

can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s

abe lincoln tweeting shit like “wow this play sucks just shoot me”

too soon

HE WAS SHOT IN 1865 

ehehehelokid:

agirlinasweater:

brunetteinaunionjack:

queerinius:

heavymedal:

you are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos

this is the most hopeful thing I’ve ever read.

what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos

then tomorrow is nacho lucky day

get out

(Source: fussyneko)

drunktrophywife:

Amanda Bynes wasn’t allowed on a flight because she didn’t have proper id because the id she tried to use was “im Amanda Bynes google me”